SEINFELD SCRIPTS PDF
A analysis of why Seinfeld scripts were so good at identifying problems, balancing multiple stories, and keeping the viewer smiling. FREE scripts included . Here is your resource for finding exact quotes, script information, and episode play-by-plays. If you need to find specific Seinfeld script information, you've come . Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld. •r. SHOOTING SCSI?~ "No portion of this script nay be performed or reproduced by arv. \aans, or quoted or.
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Top Source for Seinfeld. Season One. Episode. PDF. Transcribed by. Notes. Web Script Date. Good News, Bad News · 44kb. BobbySacamono. The Contest. Written by: Larry David Directed by: Tom Cherones. Stars: Jerry Seinfeld Michael Richards Jason Alexander Julia Louis-Dreyfus Estelle Harris. Jerry. George. Elaine. Kramer. We've followed their misadventures for nearly ten years on Thursday nights. Here, finally, are the scripts of the first two s.
Six-thirty, time for your sponge bath. I fell asleep.
The two women go about preparing the sponge bath. George is visibly affected - breathing heavily, and staring at them through the curtain SHELLY: Seems not to notice what's going on beyond the divider So, George, what are you doing now? I hear you got some kinda television, writing - thing? Here, just slip it over your head.. We thought you were gonna wind up on the street. As the bath is going on, George is now completely mesmerized What is it you're doing, exactly?
A moment passes. Elaine looks over, and her jaw drops to the floor. Joyce nods John F. Kennedy Junior's here! John Kennedy's gonna be in my class?! He has got a great butt. Great butt. John-John's butt. I know. What, do you think I care about the sex? What kind of person do you think I am? That doesn't mean anything to me.
Faint I don't care about that. Good night. She gets out.
Jerry leans forward, adding Not just a good night - a great night. She shuts the door, he waves Scene ends [Setting: Jerry's bedroom] Jerry, in the middle of the night, is moving around - unable to get to sleep, he's restless. Scene cuts to George.
He's wide awake, and staring at the ceiling. Cut to Elaine. She's settling into bed, unable to get to sleep. The scene takes a final cut to Kramer. He's sound asleep Scene ends Jerry's in a grouchy mood. Nothing like some good solid sack time. She's doin' her wash.
Read the 'Seinfeld' 9/11 Spec Script That's Got Everyone Talking
So, did you make it through the night? Yes I am. Kramer chuckles Master of my domain. But I will tell you this: I am going over to Gestures to the nudist her apartment, and I'm tellin' her to put those shades down!
What-what did you just say? She's driving me crazy! I can't sleep, I can't leave the house, and I' here, I'm climbin' the walls. Meanwhile, I'm dating a virgin, I'm in this contest - something's gotta give!
Can you hear it?! Jerry puts on his coat This is a beautiful woman walking around naked, and you want to tell her to stop?! That's the dumbest thing I ever heard! I mean, think comprehens- I'm not gonna let you do it. You can't!
This is something that comes about once in a lifetime! When we were boys, looking through our bedroom windows, we would think: "Why can't there be a woman out there, taking her clothes off? Don't do it. Don't do it! For my sake! God knows I don't ask you for much! Pleading Now, come on. Please, Jerry. I'm beggin' ya!
Claps hands Come on! The nurse was gorgeous.. Laughs, then snorts I was going nuts. Well, I guess you'll be going back to that hospital. Kennedy Jun-ya! Did you talk to him? So, listen, after the class was over, I timed my walk to the door so we'd get there at the exact same moment, and he says to me, Thinking the world of what he said "Quite a workout.
What did you say? So then, I showered and I dressed, and I saw him again, on the way out. Giddy and nearly out of breath So we're walkin' and talkin', and he asked me my name - and I think I said Elaine - but, I mean, who the hell knows.. And so then, he says to me: "Do you wanna split a cab uptown? So, we get in the cab, and I mean, I have no idea where I'm goin', right? But this is John F. Kennedy Junior we're talkin' about!
Deep breath So, then, he says to me, "Where do you live? So he dropped me off in front, Laughs and I had to take a cab all the way back downtown to my house.. Picks up a glass of cold water and presses it up to her forehead to cool her off Oh, God..
Pops a piece of food into her mouth Scene ends [Setting: Estelle's hospital room] George quickly runs in, turning around - he checks both his watch and the wall clock. Why wouldn't I be back? My mother's in the hospital, I'm going to pay her a visit. You didn't have to do this. What wouldn't I do for you?
I haven't eaten lunch or dinner. I can't eat this hospital food. Maybe you could run down to the deli and get me a sandwich.. She smiles back, nodding A little later. I'm very hungry. I'm weak. What's the difference?
I'd like to spend a little time with you. Visiting hours are almost over! Angrily sets them aside I'm sorry you came. Time for your sponge bath.
I'm huuunnnggry! She's obviously looking around for JFK Jr. He was in the early class today. Elaine looses her composure But I think you made quite an impression on him yesterday.
I made an impression? What impression? Tell me now!
What did he say?! John Kennedy asked about me?! Hangs off the side of the counter, both feet in the air What did he say? I have a situation? That was very good. Are you tryin' to hurt - you're tryin' to injure me, right?
It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every of life, be it something to wear, something to eat It's all been wrong.
A waitress comes up to G Waitress : Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee. George : Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute, I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted Elaine : Well, there's no telling what can happen from this. Jerry : You know chicken salad is not the opposite of tuna, salmon is the opposite of tuna, 'cos salmon swim against the current, and the tuna swim with it.
George : Good for the tuna. A blonde looks at George Elaine : Ah, George, you know, that woman just looked at you. George : So what? What am I supposed to do? Elaine : Go talk to her. George : Elaine, bald men, with no jobs, and no money, who live with their parents, don't approach strange women.
Jerry : Well here's your chance to try the opposite. Instead of tuna salad and being intimidated by women, chicken salad and going right up to them. George : Yeah, I should do the opposite, I should. Jerry : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
George : Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something! He goes over to the woman George : Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you were looking in my direction.
Victoria : Oh, yes I was, you just ordered the same exact lunch as me. G takes a deep breath George : My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents. Victoria : I'm Victoria. Jerry is on the phone. Jerry : Are you kidding? They can't cancel that show on me now, it's too late for me to book anything else for that weekend. Alright, alright Enter Kramer Kramer : Hey. Buddy, it's all happening! Jerry : What's happening? Kramer : The coffee table book. It's a go! Jerry : Oh yeah, I heard all about it.
Kramer : You know what this means? I'm starting the book tour. First stop : Regis and Kathy Lee. Jerry : You're going on Regis and Kathy Lee? Kramer : Oh, you better believe it! Jerry : I'll loan you my puffy shirt. Kramer : No,no,no. Jerry : What're you gonna talk about? Kramer : Well, coffee tables. The phone rings Jerry : Hello?
Yeah, sure, I'll do it. I just had something cancelled the same weekend. Turns to K Jerry : You know, life is amazing. I just lost a job and five minutes later get another, same weekend, same money. Kramer : You know who you are? George : Why shave every day? It just grows right back.
Victoria : I guess George : I'm afraid I'm just not interested in how I present myself. If those kind of superficialities are important to you, this probably isn't gonna work.
A car cuts in in front of them, G has to make a sudden maneuver Victoria : Hey watch, he just cut you off! Did you see that?! George : Take it easy. Take it easy. It's not the end of the world. Man no. They kick G and Victoria's seats Victoria : What are we gonna do?
Shall we just move? George : That won't be necessary. G gets up and turns towards the two men George : Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We're trying to watch the movie! And if I have to tell you again, we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna show you what it's like! You understand me? Now, shut your mouths or I'll shut'em for ya, and if you think I'm kidding, just try me. Try me.
Because I would love it! George : I don't think we should. We really don't know each other very well.To begin with, the boundary between reality and fiction is frequently blurred: this is illustrated in the central device of having Jerry Seinfeld play the character Jerry Seinfeld.
Don't give me "Ma". It's part of our lifestyle. This first attempt is pretty low-stakes, and often is just a confirmation of suspicion rather than an actual remedy. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers? Jake : So you heard that I was in a car accident , and then decided to stop off for some Jujyfruit?
Second floor from the top. You could be a big star! So, she fell, and then she started screaming, "My back! Elaine : Right after
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